Movement

Receiving an instruction and acting upon it can take milliseconds or it can take a minute. Either you instantly act upon the action affirmatively and instinctively or you sort out your mind trying to obtain some discernable logic in the instruction before you act upon them. The knowledge had already been embedded in our large memory scape. Once seen, once remembered and forever captured. However, finding that knowledge requires practice. Practice, is the key to movement.

I like to visualise our brains as a landscape of bright dots which are “knowledge”, an immaterial entity which stores ideas. And between these ideas, there is a neural network connecting each “knowledge” to one another until it reaches a starting point which is “affirmed action.” Electric pulses run through these networks each time you need to do or to know something. When deciding on something, your mind needs information. It sends a signal which races through the network, and searches for this “knowledge” which will tell you something about the information you need and you act upon that information. But because the amount of knowledge which can be stored in our brains are almost limitless, because we can remember and store so many things, this network is vast. There are so many chains, so many links such that potentially, one thought can remind you of another in an instant precisely because they are linked in some reasoning or another. However, when we want to access certain links, by wanting specific information, suddenly we might not be able to find the link. Because of that, we fail to find logic behind an instruction, which leads to delayed logical action. This might be because the link may be remote. A specific word, or a feeling or a scene which we used at the beginning to obtain that information may be the trigger which triggers the chain of links to that knowledge, so you remember. This means that if you do not have that trigger, you will delve and think until you reach that trigger, be it a “feeling” or “scenario” (example: a visualised smell of cotton candy) and then the current connects and you can remember, even if you thought about an information halfway between the “knowledge” and “action”.

But this can be remedied by studying a hypothesis about conscious and subconscious thought. The amount of thought a person process in any given point of time is impossible to tell. There are studies done in the Sleep Labs in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem which can show us the amount of conscious thoughts a person could have, but it does not take into account the subconscious thought a person could be having. This is bad because it is widely believed that subconscious thoughts make up 80% of thoughts at any given point of time. A conscious thought is a thought which you are aware of the link between action and knowledge. But subconscious thoughts are those that you do not know the route and links in your brain but they exist, so the pulses link almost unknowingly by you from trigger to knowledge to affirmed action. Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink went on to describe this phenomena which have been utilized by firefighters during decisive moments while battling fires and by art curators in judging the authenticity of unearthed ancient statues.

I will try to hypothesize based on experience. For a long time now, I have relied heavily on conscious thoughts to carry out an action. It had been inbred in me and anyone else who tries to study and pass an exam. The method of examinations requires you to know and regurgitate out the “knowledge” clearly and sometimes it even requires you to regurgitate the links connecting the instruction to the knowledge. In examination, to know you have learnt what you have supposed to learn, you are required to tell the examiners that you know. Thus, everything is in the conscious. That is why when you have read a certain paper perhaps and you are tested on it, but you have not carefully memorized or internalized the information, you will seem to “know” the answer but will not know what to write or how to put it. Or you think you know, but you fail to find logic behind your answer. You have yet to form a conscious link and thus it appears as if you do not know the answer. Of course, this method may have been useful when I was studying. However, it was a bane when it comes to certain real life experience. For example I have been an ambulance medic for more than a year. My job, essentially, is to assist the paramedic in providing emergency treatment to patients. And working in an environment where every second may be the difference between life and death, slow, conscious thought is truly a bane. In reality, how these men have actually worked uses a lot of experience which translates to subconscious thoughts which is activated by conscious triggers. What I mean is when a paramedic assessed a patient and found him or her to not have a pulse, the paramedic would instantly consciously trigger a chain of links in the subconscious and then they act like robots to do what they can to save the person’s life. They already know what to do and that is experience. There is no time to think from one step to another. There is, inserting the Laryngeal Mask Airway, applying Defibrillation Pads, giving oxygen supply, applying LUCAS on the chest, running an IV line in the patient’s veins and preparing adrenaline to inject into the body. All these must be remembered in an instant and you must be calm and composed while doing so. And impressively, they can do so by experience. When I was first posted as an ambulance medic, I try to think of the steps from one step to the other rather than trust my instinct. When paramedics gave me instructions, I think and rationalize on the instructions first and because of my inexperience, I fail to see logic behind certain actions. Those made me think and ask “why” and it costs me precious seconds before I would act, rather half-heartedly. A valuable lesson was rendered to me by an Encik Zul who was frustrated in my slowness. “You think too much. Don’t think just do. Your job is to assist and not be a bane.” And true enough, after I made it a point to just do as a paramedic asks and stop asking why, my actions became faster. I began to see reason behind the instructions of an experienced person after doing whatever they say and pretty soon, I could reason and anticipate the things which should be done on each ambulance calls which made my actions one step ahead of what I was capable of doing. 

Similarly, a same thing happened when I was working as a Tax Officer. The training period was 8 days and we had to memorize a lot of information about tax and how to use the Avaya communication system and internal tax network. Just by studying theoretically was not enough when answering a taxpayers call. I had to think back on my lessons consciously and because of that, my call time per taxpayers was high and in fact every one of the new interns had low KPIs. But IRAS have a trial period for new tax officers to learn the ropes of the system. They will ensure we receive calls and assured us it is okay to get long call times per taxpayer. Pretty soon, I got a hang of using the phone and we started having fun manning the lines and answering taxpayers enquiries because it became instinctively easy to a point when a standard question was posed by a taxpayer at the start of our conversation, we already know what to research on the database and could readily provide them when asked instead of putting them on hold to search slowly where the information are. Practice is very different from theory indeed. Experience is very valuable indeed.

Thus is a long tale about movement which I try to visualize as electric pulses and connections. Interestingly, this visualization can be applied into almost every context. In my blogpost “We Perceive Patterns in Life” I tried to prove a point that the world is just patterns. The world is just patterns over patterns which we used to mix and match to create new things and that everything in the world is really connected to everything else in a finite space. A finite entity. Movement in life be it fast and smooth or slow would be abstract, would it not be? That, is just a conscious thought.

About race and man

Recently I read a book titled JEWS: The essence and character of a people. It was written by Arthur Hertzberg and Aron Hirt-Manheimer, the former being a scholar in Jewish history and a former rabbi. The purpose of the book was to define what it means to be Jewish and to give reason to the character of the Jewish people. It tries to infer to us the mindset of an ordinary Jew and the reason behind the mindset of ordinary Jews which had made them such an exceptional people. In my opinion, the book is an insightful view into the eyes of a Jew and it tells us to great detail of the way of life of a unique and incredible culture. In truth, I read the book and continued to read it in hope of finding what it takes to replicate the Jewish culture which have produced such incredible men and women and to find out the characteristics and reason why the people are so distinguished among non-Jews. B.F. Skinner, the acclaimed psychologist, wrote a few theorized possibilities and they might explain why this race could produce such fine men throughout the ages.

One, human character and behavior tend to pass down from ancestors, presumably from genes, which would culminate into the present living man we see now. That means that brilliant men who had done incredible feats or have pushed themselves to their limits in their lifetime whether mentally or even creatively would most likely pass the genes of these “effort”, thus it becomes an almost subconscious thing to produce works of genius among their descendants. This theory gives credit to all the ancient civilizations for they have mastered the art of sophistication and of living since a long time ago and therefore its descendants should be more well-bred and cultured than others who had always lived in a smaller community and had more trivial priorities. I am inferring that descendants of great civilizations should have a wider perspective of the world. In this theory, whatever we experience would unlock a memory of our ancestors and thus we behave as what they have learned. That is how our aggressiveness and competitiveness comes into being and that is also how we might explain why different cultures may be different. For example, Asians are thought to be more docile than Westerners.

Secondly, the other theory is that all what we experience in our immediate life and our immediate environment would grow on to shape our character and behavior, perhaps even more so than genes could. This gives chance for those of less prominent ancestry to be able to make his or her mark in history. Of course, since environment plays a large part in building our character, a tradition of following the way of life of your ancestors would most likely bring about similar behaviors and traits and thus it made it seem as if genes had something to do with the passing of traits, thus debunking the first theory. B. F. Skinner of course felt it most likely to be a mixture of both, as written in his book Beyond Freedom and Dignity. We are both past and present to create a future.

So the Jewish folks fulfill both theories which might explain how this race of people could produce such fine individuals. Firstly, since the time of Abraham and his descendants with Sarah, the Jews had often produced remarkable men who made their mark in history. Since the Middle Ages to the Nazi period up till now, they have been despised for being who they are. Some historians conclude the Jews were despised for their apparent success in the world and for being rich or for being smart. Since the time of early Jews, the Jews are easy to be made scapegoat of for their apparent stubbornness against mainstream culture, insisting on Jewish pride even as a minority. Success certainly appears to run in their veins and if the first theory holds true, it is not obvious why they continue to produce such fine individuals with such rich ancestry. Success is in their genetics. 

Secondly, since the time of Abraham, the Jewish people had often stubbornly lived their own separate lives from society. They oppose the common ideologies of whichever civilization they reside in, just as in Abraham who chose to pray to the “one true God” instead of the different deities of his time in Ancient Babylonia. Then in Moses, who rebelled against Rameses II to save his people in Ancient Egypt. A story passed down was that during the Roman civilization, when the Romans tried to respect the Jews by offering them to share an altar in their temple for their God together with their other deities, the Jewish Rabbis refused. They constantly hold an always contrasting view to mainstream view. Even when Abraham had lived among the Bedouins in the deserts of Canaan, he had always lived in his tent open to society, always kind and giving to the Bedouin strangers, but always keeping to himself his practices and way of life. He chose to live as an outsider and stranger rather than be part of the society. Joshua Wolf Shenk’s book Powers of Two: How Relationships Drive Creativity, talked about the hidden genius behind successful people. It takes two people of specific characteristics to complement each other and produce works of a genius. And obviously enough, the vital source of creativity and innovation stem from the person with an outsider’s perspective; one whom do not follow the custom of the other and reasons and lives quite differently from the other. This outsider perspective approach enables them to offer a creative solution or idea to the then today’s problems. And the Jews have a rich tradition and custom of living their own life which some have not changed for thousands of years, always contradictory to mainstream culture. After all, they, as admitted by the authors of Jews: The essence and character of a people, the Jews have an indoctrinate pride of being a Jew. Be it being casted away from society and treated harshly, they still hold on to the notion of being God’s chosen people and that they are the prime example which mankind should emulate. It offers a siege mentality of “us against the world” for many centuries, but however they were also inculcated moral values to follow, thus they must always treat others good. The more they suffer through the centuries, the more they try to do what is good and right, for they have to be that as chosen people. “Let them hurt you, do not hurt them back. It shows that we are better people.” And since this concept and environment which they were brought up in teaches and brainwash them into thinking that they are better people; it became a stimulating environment for them to become geniuses and work hard against the odds. In Powers of Two: How Relationships Drive Creativity, it talks about stimulating environments such as cafes in the early 1900s and the dot com era and even Pixar and Google headquarters where people who wants to make a difference go to such places to meet other like-minded individuals to start something fresh and new. And the Jews have created a sort of society and environment which breeds and cultivates minds and talents.

Over the years, as the Zionist movement picks up, there are left wing Jews who wants to vent against those who oppose them but the authors of the book denounced them and I certainly hope that many Jews hold the same viewpoint. It is understandable, as their mindset of always being the victim might have turned them weary. They want to have a say and fight back. They want to defend Israel, their given homeland after a long Diaspora. But these Jews are not being true to their ancestors and heritage. The resilience of the old Jews come from their pride and the hope for the coming Messiah who will set things right in the world. After years of being oppressed by society, the resilience may have dropped. They should continue to live and uphold their reputation, as in their eyes, as being better civilized men. And for that they will be respected. It is true that giving land away from the Promised Land is a crime in their Holy books and for that then President Yitzhak Rabin of Israel was assassinated for giving back part of the annexed land in Sinai back to Egypt. However, the oppression to the Palestinians and building of settlements on annexed land seems rather unruly. At least, respect and act as if the Lands are not owned by you, and live as you would have lived as a model society. Live right on your own, do not intervene. Palestine seemed to be a hurtful thorn to the vision of Israel, a pinpoint in which the Muslim World constantly uses to hurt Israel from as close as possible. And as such, it seems prudent to get rid of them permanently as a solution to end a sticky problem which constantly plagues Israel every day. These leftists can be equally compared to the radical Muslims in the world, people who are condemned by the morally upright others who live justly as God had prescribed them to .But that is not how a dignified race should act.

I find the concept of Islam similar to the traditions of early Jews. Consider this, Islam was founded by a Prophet Muhammad, Peace be upon him, who migrated to another city Madinah and lived as a Muhajirrin (traveler) after being chased away from his home city of Makkah. He and his followers are similar to an outsider and the form of governance and religion they formed opposes the whole of the Arab lands who prayed to various deities, similar to the stories of the Jews. The way of life prescribed in the Quran is distinctly different from the laws of today. Just as the Jews, they have strict conducts and moral values to follow which shows how one should optimize their lives and respect their modesty and by today’s standard, they both appear to be lacking of freedom and flexibility. But this mindset is through the perspectives of a person with different values treasured. A Muslim society may not seem fun, but they eradicate problems plaguing countries such as US which have unhappy households, divorces, unwanted pregnancies, bastard children, uncontrolled pornography and violence. Incredibly, there is more gun violence per 100,000 people in US than there are in Afghanistan which means I have more chances of being shot at in the US than I have being in Afghanistan. With the current situation in the world media now portraying Muslims as the bad ones, it is creating a siege on the Muslims just as how the Jews had been in “siege” for centuries. I would suggest Muslims to embrace and not fight back especially among ourselves and to live as we were meant to without outside influence. Our backlash could be due to the numerous interventions by outsiders which constantly destroy our way of life. Living as we have been, an outsider with a different view of the world might just be our salvation just as the early Islamic Civilization had started when it met and embraced Hellenistic and Persian Civilizations. Resilience and patience must be upheld. One might feel that Islam seemingly tries to replicate Jewish religion and tradition and cast it in a new name to include those who are non-Jews. If it was, I applaud for the vision of Prophet Muhammad Peace be upon him in trying to duplicate Jewish success among more men and women outside the Jewish race. Or as in a Muslim’s perspective, the Islam religion is the perfected religion of the Jews and Christians. Whichever it might be, it had created incredible men throughout history such as al’Khwarizmi inventor of Calculus and Ibn Al-Haytham who was a pioneer in creating a model for scientific experimentation, physics, mathematics and in optometry.

A replication of the environment and setting the Jewish people had devised for themselves which was aimed to be a model for people to follow is one I would greatly love to adhere by and live in. The morals of this race are one I admire, after reading the book about the character of the Jews. The creation of the state of Israel is the first big step by Jews to creating a “model world” and if it is a success, it should be used to better this world. Maybe perhaps, the coming Messiah is an elaborate scheme to change the world by saving a race from the complexities and twisted ideologies of the world; to isolate them from wrong influences. Once the Jews overcome their “victim” approach and be the teachers of a complex world instead, then all of mankind can be made better. Whoever it may be, be it Jewish, Christian, Chinese or African, I hope one day a smart and extraordinary man or woman of good intentions could create a great nation in these lands. One where everybody wishes to live in. But first, perhaps we should create a society which breeds such people.

Big Bad World

We see things in terms of perspectives. That is a reason why it is entirely unnecessary to continuously persuade someone to see the way we see things. The way I imagine it to be is like a cyclone of vision of a part of reality emanating along our line of sight. Anything out of the cyclone is a blur or a mess. The circle, the eye of the cyclone, which we can see reality in is filtered. Everyone will see the same spot or piece of reality but they will interpret it differently. This might be hard to take for some because it would mean we are short sighted, blind and heartless for we do not “see” the reality another person see. We cannot feel them.We cannot understand them. We cannot relate to them and know if what they feel is what we feel. That is the saddest thing about perspectives.

 There is a rather sad quote I read about which states “our lives are merely the playing of chemical hormones in our head”. And though I disagree with the motion, it is a theoretically possible philosophy to life. 

We can try, definitely, to see as how another person see. To know what it feels like in another person’s perspective; a person whom you would never imagine yourself to be like. You wonder why they are different, why they are like this, what do they think when they are like this. You wonder do they think the way I do? Can I feel as they do? We can try.

When we try to understand another person’s belief, culture and actions, we get to see as they do, or rather catch a glimpse of what it is to be them. However, the desired neutral stance in which we can understand another person without our own biased perspective is impossible to take for that is the view only God can see in; a vision without the filtering cyclones. But we can experience another person’s perception as much as possible and that is by creating an assumption that what the other person is doing or acting out is always right. In that sense, we do not contradict the person with our influence but rather give in to them. In that way, we seek to be understanding and in return, we get to see as they see. We can make mental judgments on their actions, feelings and situation from that extremely humble stance. You may even feel how narrow the worldview the other person possesses. But if you come to a similar conclusion of the dynamics of society as I have, you may conclude how big and bad the world is.

A world without art and humanities is a vile and cruel world, especially for those who actually care or appreciate the arts and humanities. These subjects form humanity. The British novelist C S Lewis admitted how little he actually cared about moral values and how people felt about his wrong doings until he actually cared about religion. Religion, which I believe is an abstract representation of our art and humanities and “civil” behavior. Empires which  prospered had invested greatly in the arts and culture. For example the Greek civilization, Ancient Chinese dynasties and Alexander the Great’s Macedonian empire. (Alexander the Great was schooled by the famous philosopher, Aristotle himself.) A large empire can never be large if they cannot understand a distant citizen and integrate cultures into a functioning bloc. A world without art and humanities will limit our perspectives, which is why people continuously express themselves in art; a gesture to widen another person’s perspectives. As such, I greatly appreciate the efforts of the individuals, art societies and countries who invested in the arts. As a result, a fictitious model of the world we live in now exists. We abide by certain rules regarding boundaries and have morally-backed basic rights granted for everyone. We created a functioning world where tact (diplomacy) is very important and a certain moral standard have more or less been adopted. Thus, it is a worrisome phenomena that more and more people are declaring themselves without a religion or atheists. They are losing the essence of humanity.

However, there are still instances whereby art have been misused to show certain misguided perspectives about other people. I am referring to the media, an art machine which is very powerful in controlling the perspectives and sentiments of the public. They are the primary information giver. Just like Joseph Goebbels, Hitlers Nazi propaganda expert, he can whip up a perspective for the Germans about what is right and wrong and good for the unity of the Third Reich. In truth, if we were to look into the perspective of a German citizen, it is not wrong to support your country which wanted to create a great nation. And that perspective would have been universally embraced if Nazi Germany had won the war and established itself as the world power of the day. As the saying goes, "History is written by its winners." Communism in its core principles is an idealistic idea about how to create an utopia in the world but the idea was seriously tarnished and disproved by history.  Even now, racial, sexual and other stereotypes are constantly being used such that it could actually define the person being misguidedly stereotyped. For example, a misconception of Austronesian natives being lazy due to observations by colonists have actually reinforced that idea into the natives such that now, centuries later, the natives have used this stereotype on themselves and believe themselves to be lazy as profiled, which could also account to the lack of progress of these natives as compared to other races. This is of course hypothetical, as mentioned in Syed Hussein Alatas book, The Myth of the Lazy Native. Everyone is being profiled now. Islam and terrorism, White supremacy, Indians and technology, Chinese people with their hard work and their studying, Jews with their money. What is right is being defined by those that control the media. Being a Malay Muslim I see all the stereotypes which hurts the reputation of my people. I see the bad influences of media about what is hip and cool and I felt an uncomfortable rage to disprove all this misguided but true stereotypes.

I have always believed that, as proclaimed in all major faiths, we are all created equal. And yet we are each capable of being anything we want. Cultures help grow yet shape our identity, and media further deviate or widen them. As a person who revolve his perspective of life around religion, I always try to relate things to the Quran and other religious teachings. The portrayal of a Muslim in the Chapters of the Quran and the character of our Prophet Muhammad is one of beauty. Kind, thoughtful, caring, tactful, nice, strong, determined and humble, these are among the traits strongly encouraged for us Muslims to follow to live a good life. All Muslims are "obliged" to read the Quran and love our Prophet(to know about him) and thus they know about its contents and story, at least vaguely. And yet, what I see now in my society is such ignorance on these traits! I was in a Sunday religious school from the age of 5 to 19. I was brought up in a morally right upper Middle Class family. But what I see in Muslims now is a disgrace to the texts in the Quran. A "Modern Muslim" is being created out of media and other influences. I have seen in Detention Barracks, Muslims who pray their daily prayers everyday over there but they have tattoos all over their bodies and they boasted about the clubs they go to and their drinking or sexual escapades. Apparently, in the general society now, it is cool to consume alcohol, hang out with friends all the time and have premarital sex. And worse are the people who are Muslims but they disregard their religion entirely by saying they are not practicing Muslims. It is a hindrance for them. And these numbers are huge swathes of our Muslim population in this city. Media is further demeaning them to hide their religion. It is not cool. I cry at their loss. I cry at our loss of place for us to be who we are. The fact that there are so many advertisement which showcases models, shows which encourage this demeaning, oversexualised culture so unlike the culture encouraged in the Quran, and the "normalty" to be hot and sexy for ladies and romantic or whatever it is for men. They made our young Muslimin and Muslimahs irksome of their religion; seen as a hindrance rather than a help. "A 50/50 approach to a cause is not worth the cause." This demeaning culture is one that breeds rotten habits which are traps for the weak minded and is the cause for your downfall. This culture is masterminded by the rich, selfish and clever puppeteers. Head to Madinah, a city in Saudi Arabia, home and burial ground of our Prophet, and you will see a culture so taken care of, so proper, so justified, so polished and so beautiful to be part of. I had only been there for about a week 2 years back but that experience had widen my perspective and awed me. A proper and dignified society! When I came back and experienced my society once again, I thought about how filthy the world really is. And how rotten and bad it have been without proper art(religion).

There are impartiality in the way our world work such that there are no even playing ground. Cecil Rhodes once mentioned, "You should be thankful to be born an Englishmen, for you have drawn first prize in the lottery of life." There are rich people and there are poor people. Smart people and the handicapped people. A good example of life can be reflected in a game of Monopoly Deal, with a slight alteration to the end objective. "The Game will end when everyone but one becomes bankrupt". It becomes apparent that the rich will only get richer and once you are poor and fighting against rich opponents, you are severely handicapped and will remain penniless(or cardless in this game.) That is until you chanced upon a "Deal Breaker" or a move which turns the tide of the game by instantly gathering a lot of cash. In life, it would mean getting an opportunity of a lifetime or a lucky path to richness. Play it right, you win, play it wrong you remain the penniless poor miserably giving every penny to the unrelenting rents of the others. Then there is the other game "Risk" whereby the objective of the game is to dominate the whole world.  There are merciless and smart moves undertaken by people to fool others. It is given that those who attack first will be losers and that leading everyone except yourself to battle is the way to win. Patience and tactics is the key. All this game actually reflects something. Competition and a silent rule to win others. I personally hate these games because it means that you have to destroy people to win. I prefer compromise, but to those who disregard compromise to dominate their opponent, the only way to defeat them is to fight and utterly destroy them to the point of not being able to mount any form of challenge ever again. This rule to be better than others is a rule I greatly disagree. Why must you win others? Live your own life. The world is already bad enough if you want to compete for petty reasons like seeing another person suffer or for pride.

Would you be bad at maths and just give up on studying because it is not cool? Would you take up smoking just to fit in the crowd? Would you continuously pursue a girlfriend or boyfriend just to make a show of them? Would you abandon your self and act like how society is asking you to? Or would you admit your flaws and see what is the best for your future and the future of the people you love? Admit your flaws and stem the downward slide of your society and people to eternal doom. The pride in your people does not lie in the caricature actions and showing off of rotten habits to the world. It is not about protesting your rotten position in society knowing full well you are the cause of it. The pride in your people lies in the class you have. In the beauty of how you carry yourself and in the beauty of your character. The English have class. The Arabs have class, I must say. There are so many people wanting to carry this vision forward. Opportunists, leaders, faith healers. Fight the evil influence.  Please. Stop this big bad world.

That is my perspective.

A perfect world

Ender's Game (2013)

I had a rather enjoyable time reading Orson Scott Cards' Ender series. Years back I watched the movie "Ender's Game" and it had remained among my list of all time favorite movies because I felt it was both engaging but yet so intuitive and knowledgeable. Recently I read Ender's Shadow and subsequently Ender in Exile. I was awestruck at how detailed and wholesome the characters and situation created in the books are. And Orson's books were written, most of it anyway, way back in 1984!

But a particular topic struck a chord in me which I felt inspired to write about. The things I had wrote about recently were definitely flimsy and I don't really like what I was writing. It was not as in-depth and well written as my better essays like "Faith in Reason" or "We Perceive Patterns in Life" for in those essays I thought about them for days and took time to write and re-write them. My more recent posts were inspired writings as like now and done in an hour or two, so the level of writing is never to my liking. The topic I want to delve on touches a little on a topic I have been working on for weeks and is still in the making, a truly long one I would call "The Fall of my People's Image." As the title of this blog post suggest, I'd attempt to contemplate what a perfect world would have been if certain societal rules are ignored and forgotten and systems work a certain way.

In Ender in Exile, Earth had defeated (wiped out is a better phrase) the technologically superior and feared alien race, the Formics, after years living in fear of them. While at first the world was united to fight the Formics, at the news of the Formics annihilation, people start to revert to their usual past affliations, be it their race or country. The Russians tried a coup of the International Fleet, China invaded India. India retaliated and then invaded China. Eventually a group called the Hegemon led by Ender Wiggins brother, Peter Wiggins, managed to outmaneuver and win each and every dominating factions in the world and united Earth. Due to past histories and differences, people just could not unite together much like how the world is now. The world now is made up of hundreds of countries which are separated by their neighbors due to so many reasons and there are also so many racial, cultural and religious differences which cannot be bridged. Peter Wiggins introduced a universal language I.F. Commons, essentially English, as the standard language to create one united culture on Earth. However, he could not erase deep-rooted sense of belongings created by history, so many cultures still retained their values and language and the world worked more like autonomous federal states each with a spokesperson to speak what the people wants.

A different situation occurred in the planets where humankind tried to establish colonies over former Formic colonies. The mindset of the colony at the beginning was survival and in order to survive with a limited number of colonists (who were army survivors and are lightyears away from Earth) they had to be versatile and crossbreed among each other. There would be no particular race or differentiation because that would only hinder their bid for survival.  All would be classified according to what they could do which would ensure the colony survives. A problem did arise on a planet later named Ganges when a new shipload of colonies arrive from Earth (50 years later as that is how long it takes to reach a colony from Earth). The new colony consisted of 4/5 Indians and as a result the planet became a subculture of Earth Indians. People simply revert to the same lifestyle as they had on Earth instead of finding a new identity together. The 1/5 non-Indians though at first would resist this culture but over 5 or 6 generations, they would embrace this culture. Everyone would be "Indian" and it would be an insult to not refer to them as such. This caused a stir on planet Earth where the other races like the Kenyans, the Kurds and such then wanted a planet to call their own. They want to exert planetary dominance; racial dominance as what had happened right after the formic wars. It occurred to me that differences no matter what will exist over time. Sooner or later, all planetary colonies will be like Earth with different cultures and affiliations. 

Flags of South East Asian nations

One of the reason there are feelings of strong belongings to groups are due to differences. In groups one finds safety. In groups one finds strength and survival. And these groups were catagorised based on common traits. The easiest trait one can find is race. People of the same race can relate to each other because it is blatant that they are of the same species. What I feel is bound to be what my fellow brother feels, because we are the same! But, who knows what that other skin coloured friend might feel. He is different, he may not know what I feel. Years later when separateness between cultures has gone on long enough and developed differently, this FACT changes. He was brought up in a different culture, who knows the way he thinks. When race becomes not a problem, instinctively, social status becomes the problem. The rich mingle with the rich for who knows what the poor are like! They may steal, they may be desperate. They may be violent by our standards. Religion all started to seek a common ground, a common place for all. But they fail to dominate the world with their ideologies and thus now we have so many religion which causes another layer of division. 

Trust

The solution which I feel is the best to remedy this situation of differences is trust. But how do we breed trust with so long a history plus the social expectation on conformity weighing on us? It takes steps. The first step is, it would take utter humility of ones upbringing; to seek to understand and embrace another person from a different background. Once you get over the fact that you and your race, groups, self are not better than another, then world unification is achievable. And it would take an enormous effort to do this because this was not how we were brought up. We were brought up to be proud of whom we are; that is the trait of a survivor in this world. But in a new era, where cooperation in exchange for asserting one’s dominance over another is more productive and beneficial, this trait have to be vanquished. The media and markets already portray certain views on what the world are. Some factions are more privileged and more powerful than others. These images paint an artificial portrayal of the world and then stamp it into reality. Our cultures may try to assert its power and dominance over another by glorifying past histories and heroes and even have negative generalisation of another culture which would promote revulsion and more differences between the races. This definitely happen in more globalised multi-cultural cosmopolis in the world where residents have to work alongside a wide variety of people with the constant fear of losing one's identity in the chaos. A cosmopolitan holds the risk of diluting their heritage by placing work and relationships above their birthrights. They  thus create petty images and stories to create their differences and allay suspicions such that there is an obvious difference between cultures. This could be in a form of private jokes, racial stereotyping and a feeling of superiority over another culture. 

Singapore (2015)

So, what is the solution? We can start by working on a common language, much like what has been done in most major cities like Singapore which embraces English despite its citizens once having so many different languages. A common ground for communication opens many channels for understanding. Language have also been proven to be the reflection of cultures (we can tell many things about a particular culture from their language). If everyone embraces a common language as their language of choice, they can be part of a same culture despite their differences. Dilution will happen, definitely, but in the end we get a more united and less violent world. But it does not end there. The next step to developing trust is to live in another person's culture. That means to do the rituals or quirks which another culture does and think as they do on why they do certain things. The very least we can do is to understand another persons culture. Learn their practices, beliefs and superstition. From animosity towards practices which they do, we learn to understand them and accept them. We fear the unknown, not the people. Frankly, if we find certain things odd and funny behind the reasoning behind certain practices, it is most likely that the people who practice them also find them odd. Afterall, without our imposed identities like race, religion or income level, all of us are sentient and thinking beings. We are able to reason the same, we are able to perceive the same. Society may delude or shortsight us but our initial potential to reason is the same. Our situation may limit us, but our minds are equal. The world may not be created equal, but we are created equal. Once we understand and strive to achieve this sense of equality, trust will emerge. So learn your friend's culture.

Charles Handy's The Age Of Paradox (1994)

After we reached the level of sensitivity and understanding which respects another person's culture, we would have built a sense of empathy and compassion for others. Adam Smith's famous Invisible Hand Rule learnt in Economics to describe how markets work naturally by matching consumers to sellers was actually made on the basis of an emphatic society. The theory was first published in his book "The Theory of Moral Sentiments". It is a book about ethics, not Economics. In order for our world to work, we must think for our fellow human folks. The next step thus would be to create a good, not perfect, system to give shape to a society. A perfect society is not desirable. It would mean conformity and authority; one with limited freedom. That would result in resentfulness and a creation of dissenting factions, something we were already trying to vanquish. A good society would ensure people are given enough freedom but yet willing to conform to rules so as to maintain a proper structure. It is a paradox a good system have to work with and be flexible in. Charles Handy wrote in his book "The Age of Paradox" a possible system to govern any groups, countries or business. "Everyone have to think like a businessman in his life". He calls it Federalism which also uses a Dual Citizenship method for each individual in the organisation. I find it a suitable method, atleast for now, to govern all sorts of organisation, The boss, or leader of the organisation do not have authority over every single decision of the organisation. It would mean bureaucracy, communism even, and thus less work would be able to be done with more resources used. Work would not be delegated appropriately as most people would not have the responsibility in their work (decisions are made by the managerial board) and each individual's potential cannot be reaped to their maximum potential. Federalism works, like in Peter Wiggins Hegemon Earth, by delegating tasks to groups of people to fulfill. How they achieve it is entirely up to them. Each individual would thus have to think of ways to achieve this goal for the sake of achieving the desired target. An idea they conceive themselves will bear stronger ownership towards its enactment and fulfillment. The dual citizenship works such that the person will have both a sense of belonging to first the leader and second their federation. A certain amount of resource will be provided for the federations to work with and the leader will be there only  as a figure who supervise and is available as support for all the federal states. This method have been used by major technological companies such as Google who creates teams of gifted individuals to create what they want and oversee a product from factory to consumer. Liberation is key to control. That is the paradox a good system have to work with and this is what is needed in a perfect world. Each individual needs to work and feel a belonging to a certain group, not generated by bias or imposed societal expectations, but by one created by a leader or government to work to achieve their own happiness. With everyone working towards something, the world would see an exponential influx of ideas and advances never before achieved. Just imagine, all around the world, every groups of people are given the resources to do what they wanted and they would be held accountable for what they do. Everyone starts from ground zero. There would be no corruption for corruption would be obvious in these communities. They get the resources which they themselves specifically asked for and work to get what they want out of it. There would be no competition and overpowering of so-called Greater nations, all answer to the one government or leader. That is the power of Federalism and unity.

Beneath this mask...

Maybe it all seems a little sci-fi. Unrealistic. My source is definitely sci-fi. But the thing is, it just takes time for people to catch on to ideas. Like a quote I rather love from another all time favorite movie "V for Vendetta": "Die! Die! Why can't you die? ... Why won't you die?" "Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof".  One person will convert their ideas to fulfill this greater good and then another and they hold on to their beliefs. They work like that in their life and their success (which I hope is how it would end in) would be seen by their peers. They convert their beliefs. Soon, enough people embrace this method such that it becomes an official thing. Like Communism or Capitalism. Then Federalism becomes the way to govern. Trust and understanding would take some time to accomplish and is the harder of the two steps to a better world. But it is an idea which just needs to catch on somehow. That might prove to be the impossible point, but I have hope it can happen. I, for one, wants to live in a better, more fulfilling and united world and an end to petty conflicts. So, here I will wait. As one believer. Living my life as such, waiting for our ranks to swell. 
Until next time, Wan.

A run around the city

The time is 4.45am when I woke up from a deep and purposeful slumber. I find it a great help that when one sleep with a motivation to do something the next day, one can easily get up and be ready to do so the next day. The body just feels so electrifying and awake. I got down from the top of the bunk bed I was sleeping in and took my bag of toiletries to the common bathroom at the end of the corridor. After a refreshing cold shower, I headed back to change into a lime green running T Shirt, standard issue NS shorts and running shoes. I had $4 in my pocket and a gym face towel hooked to my pants. I was ready.

My journey started at the front of Central Firestation at City Hall, just opposite the Peninsular Hotel and Funan Digitalife Mall. The area is located near a couple of historic landmarks such as the Armenian Church, St Andrew’s Cathedral and a Freemasons Lodge. It was 5.00am, the sun was still making its round up, unable to find the surface which would illuminate this region of the world. At 5.00am, it was a cooling 23-26 degrees Celsius. Unlike the usually stiff and hot afternoons, the morning was very windy and cooling. It was quiet with one or two taxis driving past once in a while. At the front of the large red gates of the oldest fire station in Singapore, I set my watch to start my time.

I started with a slow jog, taking me past the 6 large doors of the fire station; the exit for the emergency fire engines, Red Rhinos and ambulances towards their call of duty. Then the entrance to the Fire Museum. The bronze statues of a few fire fighters at the front of the museum took on a supernatural feeling under the illumination of the light underneath them. This followed by a stretch of greenery that is the foothills of Fort Canning Park to the right as I followed the pathway along Hill St to my left. I passed an overhead bridge and then a bus stop with a couple of people in work suits, presumably waiting to catch the first few buses to their workplaces. After running for quite a while, I found myself running beside the Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth, site of the Old Hill Street Police Station, and I ran along the outskirts of the building, just managing to glimpse a statue of sorts in the inner sanctuary, before arriving at a traffic light which would take me across the Singapore River. The bridge is a small one, one of many I’d cross later on; Coleman Bridge. While waiting for the green light to come on, I managed to enjoy the breeze a little and note that there were no vehicles in sight.

The light came on and I crossed the bridge, making my way towards Central @ Clarke Quay, one of the many shopping malls with mainstream chain stores such as Burger king fast food restaurants  and retailers Giordano and Charles and Keith which can be found all along Eu Tong Sen St up ahead. But I wasn’t headed there. I took a U Turn over a barrier and headed back towards the river where there is an underpass below Coleman Bridge. Now I ran along the famous Boat Quay, along the riverside towards Marina Bay Sands, my eventual target. The first stretch along Boat Quay first took me next to the river where the boats lay still and not operational before I entered yet another, but slightly longer, underpass. I emerged into a long stretch of restaurants, bars and cafes. These ranged from the typical seafood restaurants one might expect along the river, although one should note that fishing is not allowed in the Singapore River, to Mexican bars, Japanese eateries and even a cat café. To my left I no longer get to see the waters of the river as my view is now blocked by restaurant seats ala alfresco dining by the river. But I wasn’t complaining. The unique almost quaint-like feeling as I ran along the lighted path along rows of closed food establishments and overhead decorations more than made up for it. Once in a while, I passed a jogger or two or a couple of tourists ready for a day in the city.

As I continue along Boat Quay, I exited the rows of shophouses into a large open area. I get to see and run along the river again to my left but the shophouses to my right were replaced with tall impending skyscrapers. Singapore city have one of the most variant kinds of architecture. From the more colonial era type of buildings I started from, to the more Asian-like shophouses and flats. The skyscrapers have their own type of distinct features; as if every architect that designed it wanted to stamp their creativity and mark on the Singapore landscape. Each building is so different from the other, it feels like as if the designer looked at every other building, racked his brains for a design he had read about or learnt in school and then said,”Let’s try this!” And it became. The UOB Plaza with its wide spacious foyer, the MayBank building and Standard Chartered Bank towers and many more became as a result.

Here, I ran till the end of Boat Quay, passing the more iconic Cavenagh bridge, and arrived at a large two way road. Behind me is the massive Fullerton Hotel and across the road is One Fullerton, site of one of the once famous club, Butter Factory which had closed down a few months ago. If I had traveled the opposite way of the river, which I had done once before, it would have taken me through the night life sites in Singapore. Lively, mystical and fun at night but empty, quiet, cavernous and eerie at this time of the day. I turned to my left , crossed the road and ran across the Singapore River again. The Singapore River had opened up at this point of place, thus the bridge is a lot longer. Unlike the bridges I passed before, this was not colonial styled but rather a two way road for vehicles with sides for pedestrian to cross. Nevertheless, like most of the city, it was beautifully manicured with pink flowered bushes planted along the bridge. Around this time, the day is finally starting so the sky started to tinge a light orange.

The road I took took me a little farther from the river than I anticipated but upon reaching the traffic light, I cut right and crossed the road to arrive at yet another iconic structure in Singapore, the Esplanade. I ran along Raffles Ave, with the Esplanade’s durian-like spikes to my right and an empty road with one or two parked lorries to my left. I traverse around the Esplanade building by cutting through an unopen food establishment, noting a welcomed change in running trail from concrete pavement to wooden planks. I found myself facing the Singapore River once again, but with it now by my right. Then, I started my run along the river again along the broad walkway, enjoying the breeze and the nice modern scenery of office buildings and hotels.

I reached my favorite place to run across. The Float @ Marina. This area is just so wide and alluring. By this time, the sky was dark tangerine, the wide space enabled cold sea breeze to blow in, ruffling my hair and face towel by my side. The thousands of colourful stand was empty. The floating platform where performances were held was barricaded but I can see across the landscape and spot the sails of the Marina Bay Sands and the Lotus shaped ArtScience Museum across the river. It was picture perfect. The running route takes me straight through between the spectator stands and the floating performance area. I recall attending my brothers NS Passing Out Parade here at around the same time, noticing its beauty back then. I could imagine the F1 cars thundering on the very track I was treading. The moment there made me want to spread my arms wide as I ran against the strong cold win like a marathon runner crossing the finishing line. And frankly, I would not have looked out of place.

After passing a couple of runners there, I reached the end of the stands where I ran up a couple of steps and cut right to cross the river once again. This time, I would cross the new iconic Helix Bridge, shaped like DNA strands twirling around those that walk on the bridge. Across this bridge, I increased my tempo, a feeling of resurgence and renewal, fitting to the structure I was running through, growing as I ran across. Or maybe it was because my running journey was coming to an end. I was reaching Marina Bay Sands.

And reach it, I did. I stopped running and caught my breath. I should have looked back then to view the Float @ Marina Bay but a thing about this city is that there is so much interesting thing in front of you, looking back seems a waste of time. I then entered Marina Bay Sands. In here, the air conditioning was on. To my top, there were impressive arches and when I look down the railing, I see zig zags of escalators. Up ahead, snaking out of sight are rows of luxury shops running parallel to those impressive huge arches upstairs. I took an escalator down one floor and walked across the empty and brightly lit marble floor. There were a few cleaners, security officers and the occasional runners like me and early tourists. I went into the toilet to wash up a little before going into a 24/7 7/11 convenience store in the building and bought myself a Large Big Gulp.  A mix of mostly isotonic drink with just a tinge of coke and Fanta Strawberry to add some flovour does the trick well indeed. That was what my money was for. With my drink, I leisurely walked through the cool shopping arcade, following the arches.

I made my way out of the building to catch sight of Avalon, one of the more high end  “atas” clubs in Singapore, over the water in its cube-like metallic shell. From there, I walked along the river in the direction back to the firestation. I crossed this unique place of sunbathing chairs overlooking the river. With the wind and the openness of the river, I mentally noted what a romantic place this would be to bring our loved one in the early morning. Sometimes, there are the occasional construction workers and a couple or two here but it is usually empty on a weekday morning. And sometimes, you may find me sitting by the water on one of those chairs, watching the sunrise and eating a 7/11 chicken burger.

Afterwards, as I follow the contours of the river, the river took me turning right passing different office buildings with even more impressive looking architecture. I believe one even went on to win an international award just recently. (I wasn’t even referring to the Marina Bay Sands which also won awards for its architecture) There is a point in time here when the road I took no longer ran along the riverside. That was when I panicked a little for the river is how I find my way back. But then I arrived back at the Fullerton area and found my bearings again. This time, I crossed Cavenagh Bridge, which, according to Google Maps, is the fastest way back to the firestation. I walked past construction sites and a park where I passed a memorial, The Cenotaph, to honour the dead during World War 2. Funnily, there was a man sleeping at the base of the memorial and he appeared to be like a dead man on display for the memorial.

 I soon reached Victoria Memorial Hall. The area I am in now all date back to colonial time with many old important buildings such as the Parliament House. White ionic collumns and large clocks seem normal in this area. I continued my journey back and eventually passed the Supreme Court of Singapore. By now it was day and the Sun have already came out. The air also seemed to be hotter now which was why it was a relief when I passed the open entrance of the Supreme Court as the sliding door whooshed open, letting out a wave of cold air. Then, I crossed the road and walked through Funan Digitalife Mall and The Treasury. Finally I found myself facing Fort Canning Park.

There is another route I could traverse which would bring me through Fort Canning Park, another lovely place to run at. instead of passing the very first bus stop and overhead bridge, I could turn right and then head up a long flight of stairs to reach an open sort of plateau at the top of Fort Canning. Turn left and follow a long path curving around Fort Canning Hill with views of Clarke Quay and the clubbing scene of Singapore from an elevation to your left. The morning run through there is also quiet and peaceful. There is also an exercise corner with pull up bars and sit up stations up there along the narrow lane. Its very open and windy as it does face the Singapore River too. The path soon leads you to a flight of stairs down exiting the hill before you follow the path round through Canning Walk and then follow the path through Canning Rise which is downhill thus, very relaxing. You'll pass the Registry of Marriage and a couple of Christian related buildings in the area before passing the Freemasons lodge. Turn right after that and you'll reach the firestation again.

Anyway, at this point facing Fort Canning Park, I threw away my Big Gulp and after crossing the road, started to run towards the firestation. Before long I was sweating and panting in front of the big red gate. I signaled to the firefighter on Guard Duty and he pressed a button such that the automatic red gate swung open. I stepped into the firestation, thanked the fireman and made my way back to bunk. I then prepared myself for my second day shift as an ambulance medic ready to serve the city.

I exist

His eyes stared out the black and white newspaper. There is an intensity to it which made the full-sized image of his eyes on the front page all the more alluring. It screamed of victory, but the underlying and by far, more important message his eyes meant to deliver was “I exist”.

We scream to be heard, to be known and to tell the world we exist. It is not our purpose in life, definitely, for when we die that purpose would be rendered redundant. When we die, there is just no point for our conscious self to be remembered for. Furthermore, out of billions that have lived, only a handful will be remembered for generations, making this “purpose” a rather unattainable one. It is more of an instinct or character which is bred into our human nature because of the circumstances we grew up in, our environment, our situation. One reason could be that the more people there are in the world, the less attention one feels one gets as some people get a lot more attention than others; the Gandhis, the Napolean Bonapartes. As the village grows, a villager would want to stand out and tell the other villagers “I exist!” by being the comic, being the great hunter, being the talented bard, being someone significant. Globalisation became a global phenomenon and people realise the world is actually enormous with so many people. They start accomplishing feats. I want to conquer the world, make my name known. Let me be known as a brave man. I want to be the first to do this. Let me be famous, let the world know who I am. Suddenly we feel so small and insignificant, we feel like our existence might amount to nothing as compared to the universe… Our immediate surrounding is no longer our families. It is the world. In a chronicle, Aristotle was said to once describe to Alexander the Great the vast expanse of Asia and the extent of the Persian Empire. Asia is so big and exciting and so alluring upon learning about that Alexander set his eyes to conquer it. The rest is history. That feeling of smallness makes us want to be bigger.

Mitch Albom explained a reason why people flock to funerals in his book” 7 people you meet in Heaven”. It is that feeling to be remembered. We go to funerals in the hope that others would go to ours upon our demise. This other human behavior, altruistic behavior, is based on survival instincts. The best way to survive is to cooperate. To cooperate, one has to do their part and in turn hope the other would do the same. Common altruistic behavior includes, I go to your wedding, remember to come to mine. I celebrate this, remember to celebrate mine. I lend you money, you owe me one when I need it. Thus in this way, we go to funerals hoping others would repay you by going to ours. It is our natural tendency to want to be remembered.

Similarly, athletes aim to accomplish feats and break records in competitions. They aim for glory. They aim to be written in our history books. Some people go to war and aim to die a hero. Die a glorious death and be remembered a hero. That was a common call and slogan when countries want to recruit for war. And people buy into it, not knowing the eternal glory they hope to find for usually ended in unmarked mass graves. However, this is also the reason why people want to be in a relationship.  When they grow older and think more wisely, they want to be in a long term relationship. They want a relationship “till death do us apart”. This is the reason why we have a tendency to clamor to be with someone, why it is a natural norm in all societies to form couples. We want to feel remembered and feel cherished by someone else. Every single day that someone will remember you and tell you, “you exist”. They are our most probable chance to be remembered by. We have our parents, then our spouses, then our children and hopefully our grandchildren. But our spouses will most likely be there the majority of our lives. That is the principle of relationships. To know a person as what they are and acknowledge them. Acknowledge that you exist and acknowledge that you are alive.

Another possible situation which makes us so self-conscious about us wanting to exist is that our mortality scares us; the prospect of not existing after our death scares us. The thought that our time is finite makes us want to be more immortal. I talked about “immortal thoughts and mortal body” in Thought is the illusion of Utopia. We create and extend our thoughts and beings into the world to “extend” our mortality. Some “part” of us can live on in this world. Some idea, some beliefs or some “self”. That is why poets and artists proudly sign their name on their masterpieces. A boss signs his name on important notices and documents. The end credits in a film feel so important to those who made the film that they must be present. We name companies and buildings or roads after ourselves. Traditional Asian communities remember and respect their ancestors with statues or plaques of their ancestors’ names or faces in temples or living spaces. We create graves to mark our burial spot. We want to tell the world I exist. We want to tell the world I am immortal. I was here. A person wants to stamp their mark on this Earth, saying I lived. It is a temporal feeling of greatness and infinity. A delusion of sorts to live forever. I exist.

Last of all, writing this and knowing some people read this makes me feel a tinge of pride and happiness. I am telling people I exist. It is an interesting topic to write about; existence. That is surely an exciting topic to delve upon. It’s a strange and scary thing really, about existence. Our purpose. Our life. So vast a potential but yet no answers. The randomness and possibility of choices. The realm of our physical environment. There is definitely a grand scheme of things. I have to believe that because not believing in that would mean living is useless and futile. We might as well not exist. We lose our purpose of existing. So there must be a reason. A reason why I can think and create. A reason that I AM. A test? Maybe. That is the choice I took. But for now, I am just surely and gladly able to say. I Exist.